So you met this person, became friends, lovers, shared intimate moments and then something happens. You fight over whatever couples fight for, someone cheats, lies and kaput. Your relationship is no more. And that’s not all, you become enemies for life and hold a grudge against them for life.
Whether to be friends, enemies or frenemies with your ex is a choice for you to make. However, holding grudges and being enemies can be too tiring sometimes. Instead of all that, you can choose to be friends with your ex. But for this to work though, there are rules you must follow:
1. Give it time
After the breakup, take time to heal and process things over. Don’t rush things or even talk about being friends. Once you are over them and don’t feel any resentment towards them, you can now think of becoming friends.
2. It has to be mutual
Just because you feel ready to be friends with your ex doesn’t mean they will be ready or willing. The feeling has to be mutual for it to work.
3. Be clear about your intentions
Why do you want to be friends with your ex? Make it very clear that you have no other intentions and that your ex is not trying to be friends just to get back to you.
4. Set boundaries
Now that you will just be friends, come up with a list of the do’s and don’ts of your relationship. Limit the list to only what both of you will be comfortable doing.
5. Respect their decision to move on
It’s not easy to accept that your ex is moving on with a new person other than you but you have to accept and respect their decision for it to work.
6. Act like a friend
If you really have no plans of getting back together with your ex, then act like a friend and not a fiancée. Don’t flirt or dress provocatively when around them. It’s very easy to get back in the same messy relationship you were in if you let emotions overrule you.
7. Don’t pick on old fights
It will strain your friendship. Forget all the wrongs they did and forgive them.