We have all been through a heartbreak at least once in our lives. It’s fair to say that most of the times, heartbreaks are brutal. It’s a pain in the heart that you cannot explain. You wallow in sadness - a boulevard of broken dreams and promises and the worst part is when the breakup was not amicable and you can’t help but feel sad about the fact that someone did not think you were good enough for them and they gave up on you. Sigh. But, in life we must go through the ups and downs. Pain is what makes us stronger. You cannot say that you will never date again because someone broke your heart. Listen, love is a beautiful thing. What you need to do instead is protect yourself from getting heartbroken when things do not work out. You might be wondering how exactly that is possible. Well, a heartbreak will always hurt like a mutha! If we are being honest with ourselves, but you can avoid that situation altogether and here’s how.
1. First things first, make sure that you're on the same page with the person you are dating or claim to be dating.
You may be going around telling the whole world that you’re in a relationship and little do you know that you’re in a relationship alone. That’s hella embarrassing. You need to both talk about it and mutually agree that you both want to be in the relationship. Don’t just assume that simply because you have feelings for this person, they do too and that now you’re an item. That’s how you end up heart-broken because you have way too high expectations.
2. At the same time, be honest about your own expectations.
If you meet someone and you like them, don’t blindly start building up something. You as an individual, what do you want? Do you want to date? Friends with benefits? You have to know what you want first because the minute you enter a relationship blindly, you may be setting yourself up for a future heartbreak.
3. Be realistic.
This is still in line with what you want and what the guy wants and whether a relationship is even possible. Sometimes, you may really want a relationship but all things considered, it just wouldn’t work. Think of a case for instance where you meet a guy that does not live in the country then you start catching feelings for him. He goes back to his country but you still have hopes that somehow, the two of you could be together. In that case, you’re not being realistic, now are you? Such a situation will only lead to high expectations which lead to disappointment and subsequently, heartbreak. You have to be realistic and think with your brain and not your heart.
4. Keep off sex for a while.
Some niggas just want to tap and bounce. Keep the cookie in the jar for a while and see if he sticks around. At least that will give you time to try and figure out if he’s in for the long haul or he just wants to have sex and nothing more.
5. Get feedback from friends and family.
If you’re serious about him, it doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion from those closest to you. Sometimes, love blinds you and your family members may see red flags that you hadn’t seen previously. This may prevent you from a future heartbreak should they feel that he’s not good enough for you. Of course, sometimes, other people’s opinions should not count but you should factor them in altogether.
6. Do not rush.
One of the main reasons many people get heartbroken is because they rush and want things to happen back to back. You think you'll meet, start dating, get engaged in a few months, etc. Setting expectations too high will only lead to disappointments. Take your time. Chill on the feelings, don’t dive head first. Even if you really feel strong feelings towards this person, keep yourself busy with your own life and when you feel that the guy is making some sort of effort to be with you, then, you can let your guard down.