A few years back when I was at university, I was in a study group with four of my classmates trying to read up on our final paper of the semester that was due the next day.
We started talking about how stoked we were about finishing our exams and getting a break from school and then an idea came up that we had to go out and celebrate after the paper.
We were all fired up by the thought of a girls’ night out in town raving it up except one of us who seemed hesitant.
“Don’t you want to join us?” we urged. “I do but I’ll have to get back to you later. First I need to ask my boyfriend if I can come”, she explained. I couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. Did she really say she needed her boyfriend’s permission to go out with us?
It really bothers me when I hear of adults who need to get permission from their significant other to go somewhere or do something.
It is absurd. Asking for permission is for kids and teenagers. I thought the whole point of being an adult is being able to do whatever you want whenever you want.
Can you imagine leaving your parents’ house where you needed to get permission to do any little thing only to get entangled with a man who also feels he has the right to dictate what you can or can’t do? It is pathetic.
Once you become an adult, you don’t need anyone’s okay to do anything. Heck, you are not even obligated to tell anyone your whereabouts if you don’t feel like it.
Mind you, I also had a boyfriend at that time and I was going to run my plans with the girls by him out of courtesy but I didn’t need him to ‘let’ me go.
Our hesitant friend did manage to join us in our little spree. I guess her boyfriend was in an agreeable mood. Up to this day, I always wonder what kind of a controlling prick he was that she needed his permission to go out.
I am not saying that people should be running wild, doing whatever they want without bothering to tell the people they are dating what they are up to.
However, there is a big difference between letting your partner know what your plans are and having to ask your partner for permission before making any plans.
Wives and girlfriends should never have to ask their partners if it is okay for them to go out. If you are in a relationship whereby you feel you need to get permission from your significant other before making any little decision, you should get out ASAP because that is a toxic relationship.
Your husband or boyfriend doesn’t own you. You are your own person, capable of making your own decisions without having to consult him.
Sure, you should let your man know what your general plans are out of courtesy and respect, but you should never ever have to ask his permission to do anything.