"Huyu Hana Kitu"-Ex-‘Auntie Boss’ star Shiru explains her marriage breaking up

Award-winning actress Nice Wanjeri has finally lifted the lid on why she broke up with her estranged partner, Titus Wainaina.

In November last year, Wainaina, a musician and emcee, announced – on Facebook – the end of her marriage to the actress, claiming Wanjeri, popularly known as Shiru, was hardly at home to attend to her roles as a wife and mother.

“Why am I using Facebook [to break the news about my personal life]? My marriage is over. [It is] so painful, I swear! I saw it [break-up] coming, though. Success causes absenteeism, lack of bonding and a lack of family time. Why did I imagine we would last forever? We are both artists. It [collapsing of marriage] is normal. It doesn’t work,” said Mr Wainaina on Facebook on November 1, 2018.

The actress’s husband, upon receiving flak from his followers for publicly sharing his personal marital problems, deleted the social media post.

And until recently, when she was hosted on Radio Jambo, Wanjeri hadn’t addressed reports about her collapsed relationship.

Speaking to Massawe Japanni, the former NTV’s “Auntie Boss” actress said she broke up with Wainaina because of the open disrespect he showed her.

“It is true we broke up, just like he said. Every marriage has its teething problems. Every partner in a relationship has a side to him or her that causes friction in the union. I do not want to say [we broke up] as a result of me challenging his position as a man in the union. I won’t say much because you never know what happens in the lives of people who share a blanket together; so much goes on between them.

“I say when someone disrespects you today, tomorrow and the day thereafter, and he is not showing any signs of changing for the better, you would, of course, get tired of his or her disrespectful habits. And, you realise his disrespectful habits, when you mature mentally,” said Wanjeri.

“Every relationship has its fair share of fights. In my marriage, deep problems began to manifest after seven years. At the start of our relationship, life was quite unbearable because of the financial troubles, we were going through. We, however, managed to make ends meet. I would look for little money, he would also look for money on his end, and in the evening, we would put on the table what we have.

“I met him at the Kenya National Theatre. He was 1-year-old there, when I was joining the arts centre. We had similar social and, maybe, emotional backgrounds. By the time our relationship was clocking seven years, I realised a lot around my life was growing; there was a child calling me mum, and him, dad.

“When we were seven years old in the relationship, money began flowing in; for him and I. It was at that point that I started noticing serious elements of disrespect in him. Of course, there were pockets of disrespect before, but after crossing the 7-year line, the degree of disrespect in him ballooned. I felt it was getting worse by the day, and I could feel it was weighing me down.

“I am a very spiritual person. I prayed about the whole situation. We, thereafter, put aside our differences and our relationship began to look up, once again. Then some time in 2018, things began taking a nosedive in our relationship, again. 2018, for me, wasn’t such a good year. It was at that point, when I told myself: ‘No, I cannot go on with this relationship’. I spoke to him about what I felt. I was mature about it.

“We couldn’t seek our parents’ intervention because he has never visited my parents, neither has he even met them. We had planned, in the course of the relationship, that he would visit my parents and formally ask them to bless our union. I asked him, several times, why he wasn’t even mentioning to me about plans of visiting my parents… On my end, however, he introduced me to his parents.

“For now, I am not ready to reveal so much about my failed relationship, though what I would tell you is there were things he did that, as a woman, I felt I couldn’t stomach. Of course, the wrong I have put out as the key contributor to our break up is disrespect from him.

“Some people said that I was ditching my husband because I had gotten money, I had gone to Nigeria to receive an award for my acting achievement, I had instantly become successful and that I had ‘arrived’ at the success destination I had dreamt of. Someone said: ‘Before the money and success, she was with him. Now that she has gotten the money and success, she has deserted him’. I always say money and material things do come and go; they are nothing. The most important thing, in any relationship, is love and respect; that’s all.”

Wainaina and Wanjeri are parents to a young girl, whose name is Tasha.