It seems odd to think the World Cup, where honorary African team France lifted the trophy, happened in the same year we all went to Wakanda, and Meghan Markle tied down the only eligible English prince with a full head of hair (for now).
Barack Obama also came back home, although he seemed to have misplaced the bag carrying his ties.
Closer home, the year has been jam-packed with intrigue and scandal, particularly coming off the election late in 2017.
Most memorably, it has been a year of political surprises. Having barely recovered from the botched trip to Canaan, Kenyans were further surprised by the most unlikely marriage since Jomo Kenyatta and Fiona Achola.
It will be remembered as the year of the handshake. Raila Odinga shaking hands with President Uhuru Kenyatta, with whom until that morning they were embroiled in a bitter war of words came as a shocker.
That handshake ended all manner of resistance and opposition, forcing politicians to quickly reposition themselves.
2018 also gave us “Ayam not boarding”, and the struggles of political outcast Miguna Miguna. Thanks to his treatment at the hands of the government, no one knows the hour or the day ‘General’ Miguna Miguna will step back on Kenyan soil. Everyone was broke in 2018, from the hardworking mama mboga all the way up to the government, which resorted to playing an elaborate game of taking loans to pay others. Naturally, some Kenyans took to getting in bed with the Chinese in the country in an attempt to clear their share of the national debt.
But the year also provided us with plenty of scandals and salacious stories. As always, Kenyans were keen to know who had slept with who, and who was accused of not knowing how to use his micro-weapon. There were baby mamas and illicit love affairs aplenty, as well as con jobs and political intrigues, all covered exclusively by The Nairobian. Here are the biggest scandals of the year:
Wazir Benson Chacha- the man with the golden gun
In April, a young man reminded Kenyans the truth of the proverb ‘Usione wembamba wa reli, gari moshi hupita’. It seemed female MPs simply could not resist the wiry frame and quick tongue of one Wazir Benson Chacha, a former employee of the Ministry of Devolution.
The 25-year-old burst burst into the spotlight in February, after releasing a series of photos featuring himself basking in a post-sexual glow with Bomet Woman Representative Dr Cecilia Ng’etich. Chacha claimed Dr. Ng’etich had been out to use and dump him, but the Women Rep denied having had a romantic relationship with him.
Chacha later shocked and impressed Kenyans when it emerged that he had seduced and reportedly conquered as many as 13 other female politicians, many of them much older. But before the Mafisi Sacco could elect him their leader, The Nairobian revealed that Chacha had been running an elaborate con game targeted at MPs and Cabinet Secretaries.
He would pretend to be Murang’a Woman Rep Sabina Chege and solicit money from her colleagues, including Speaker Justin Muturi, Sicily Kariuki among others.
Just like that, the man with the silver tongue found himself in Industrial Area Remand Prison, having been charged with fraud. But the series of scandals he gave us had already cemented his status in the minds of Kenyans as a living legend. Or the G.O.A.T.
Kirinyaga Deputy Governor’s pants down moment
Political conferences are almost always sleepy unremarkable events where politicians meet to eat, and hotels get to advertise their tablecloths.
The 2018 Devolution Conference, held in Kakamega in April 2018, was definitely the exception. Kirinyaga Deputy Governor Peter Ndambiri, who until then had been a relatively unknown, thrust himself ?rmly into the national consciousness when he was caught red-handed with a woman he was not joined to in holy matrimony.
Just as he was kujaing, however, a group of men walked in on them, demanding to know why he was with a woman who was not his wife. He later claimed he had been set up by a gang which was out to extort him.
The second coming of Prophet Kanyari
A magician never reveals his tricks, but in 2015, we were treated to an expose of how miracles were performed at the Salvation Healing Ministries, where no illness or problem was too big for Pastor Victor Kanyari.
All one had to do was plant a ‘Sh310 seed’ and the Lord would send down his angels. Following the fallout from the scandal, the self-confessed man of God disappeared for some time. He re-emerged early in December 2018, under the name Bishop Mwangi.
This time, he was broadcasting his message through audio clips on radio. But while it seemed he had been demoted from Prophet to Bishop, his message was still the same. He still claimed to have been sent by God, this time after praying on a mountain, to deliver listeners from all manner of sicknesses.
All you had to do was part with Sh250 seed offering, and you would be blessed with a miracle of your choosing. Listeners were not amused, but Bishop Mwangi was de?ant in his response. He pointed out that all preachers asked for offering, and invited anyone claiming they had been conned to his church in Nyamakima.
Betty Kyallo loses her number 001 boo
The whirlwind affair between former KTN news siren Betty Kyallo and Mombasa Governor Hassan Joho was one of the worst-kept secrets in the country. In September, The Nairobian revealed the nature of the relationship between the two, and how it had gone south so fast.
Shortly after rumours of a split with her hubby Dennis Okari began circulating, the popular anchor met and fell for Governor 001. The courtship was mostly kept secret, but it did not pass the eyes of watchful (and gossip-loving) Kenyans.
Betty Kyallo, the relatable TV presenter they had always known, was suddenly dressing different, and there was a certain spring in her step. Suddenly, she was breaking necks along Mombasa Road with her new Porsche Cayenne, and breaking the internet with photos of her in various holiday destinations alongside a certain bearded king.
The suave governor gave her a house, provided her with a mouth-watering monthly stipend, and is reported to have opened a business for her sister. But as the saying goes, waliachana tu! As reported by The Nairobian, Joho soon cracked under the pressure of the ever-increasing demands. He sent a team to repossess the vehicles, reclaimed the house and severed all ties with Betty.
Rugby players in trouble for raping singer
2018 was also the year we were treated to the off-?eld antics of some of the more notorious rugby players. There was Harlequins player Lyle Asiligwa, who like Jesus, went missing for three days, prompting an online manhunt, only to resurface claiming to have been ‘partying’ with a female ‘friend’ in Loresho.
For three days. With his phone off. But the bigger scandal was that involving Kenya Sevens stars Frank Wanyama and Alex Olaba. Budding singer Wendy Kemunto came out to accuse the two players, also of the Harlequins, of gang-raping her on her birthday in an apartment in Highrise Estate.
Kemunto claimed she was pregnant, but she did not know who the father of the baby was. The two players retaliated by claiming they had indeed had sexual relations with that woman, but that it was consensual.
They also indicated in their statements that Kemunto had begun to demand money from them as soon as she found out she was pregnant.
Considering the ensuing police investigation and the suspension by the Harlequins, the players will no doubt think twice before attempting a two-man tackle again.
Obado’s accused of murder
Migori Governor Okoth Obado made headlines in 2018 for all the wrong reasons. He was accused of the murdering Sharon Otieno. The governor denied the accusations in court and the case is ongoing. Perhaps the most scandalous, however, was the revelation in September of his affair with his sister-in-law.
The Nairobian revealed in September that the embattled governor was having his cake and eating it too, carrying on a lengthy affair with Rhoda Odie Nyakwaka, the stepsister to his wife, Migori First Lady Hellen Obado.
Close family members reported that the affair had started when Obado employed Rhoda in the catering department of the county headquarters. Shortly afterwards, rumours were flying that Rhoda was pregnant.
Apparently, close family members tried to get Rhoda to terminate the pregnancy. Because of the affair, relations between Rhoda and her sister were strained, even though Rhoda denied having been in a romantic relationship with the Governor.
Man who made dad’s mzungu wife pregnant
In January, a family from Kisamis in Ngong set tongues wagging. Rempesa ole Kirkoya, a dancer and butcher, returned from the UK with a British woman in tow, one he then made his ‘assistant wife.’ It was a love story for the ages.
The woman, Rebekah, was 20 years his junior, and they did not have a single language in common. But their love seemed destined to conquer all.
That is until Rempesa’s ?rst wife kicked the bucket, and the resulting chaos forced Rebekah to move back to the UK. In the midst of it all, Rempesa’s ?rst son Lawrence Sanare, then 19 years old and bubbling with youthful lust, sensed his opportunity. He had been in love with his stepmother from the moment he saw her. He had been confessing his undying affection every which way, and finally, the two eloped in May 2015.
Naturally, Rempesa was not amused, and he proceeded to curse his son. But the affair continued to ?ame on. Rebekah got pregnant shortly after and fled back to the UK to secure her son’s citizenship. She left a broken Sanare, who is still waiting for divine intervention to reunite him with his lover/ stepmother/mother of his son.
Keeping up with the Ngiritas
The NYS scandal is the gift that keeps on giving. In 2018 it gave us its most compelling lead actor yet, the flamboyant and colourful Anne Wanjiku Ngirita, taking over from Josephine Kabura, the millionaire hairdresser.
Anne Ngirita was instantly memorable, and it had nothing to do with her collection of rainbow weaves or her ‘Daddy Ngirita’ tattoo. Continuing the trend of NYS beneficiaries, Ngirita appeared to have moved from a humble life to one of opulence and wealth.
The whole Ngirita family is accused of having made away with up to Sh468 million. They have denied the charge in court and the case is ongoing. According to the prosecution, the family received money from NYS in spite of not being listed among the companies who bid for tenders.
Nyachae’s baby mama drama
Charles Nyachae is an accomplished man. He is a veteran lawyer and was recently appointed Judge of the East African Court of Justice.
But in 2018, the son of former political kingpin Simeon Nyachae found himself in a fix, thanks to a night of passion with a campus student. Esther Wamuyu Macharia met Nyachae while working as a part-time receptionist at a hotel in Kisii.
He gave her a big tip, and when he got in touch with her a few weeks later, they spent the night tumbling on the sheets. It was supposed to have been a one-night stand, but Esther soon found out she was pregnant.
Nyachae initially supported his child, sending in Sh20, 000 in intervals all the way to 2017. Ultimately, Nyachae referred Esther to his lawyer, claiming she was blackmailing him. “I have told you many times, don’t threaten me,” he told her in a ?ery text exchange.
“I’m trying to progress this matter to a solution as we agreed. I even gave you access to my lawyer so that we can expedite. If you don’t like it, then you can decide what you think is good for you, you decide don’t just threaten me.”
Death at City Park
In May, Janet Wangui Waiyaki was shot dead at City Park. She had been steaming up the windows of a car with her lover, 26-year-old Bernard Chege, when they were ambushed by cops. But there was much more to the story.
It later emerged that Janet was married, and the man she had been swapping ?uids with was actually her husband’s nephew. The police who opened ?re on them claimed to have been acting on a tip-off that a car was to be rigged with explosives and used in a terrorist attack.
They mistook the couple’s hesitation to roll down the windows as a warning sign. Kirubi, Janet’s husband, admitted that her relationship with his nephew was an open secret, one he had warned her about to no avail.
He even pleaded with Chege’s mother to keep her son away from his wife. Ultimately, it seemed the couple paid dearly for their affair.
The other side of John Mututho
John Mututho is a national treasure, right alongside Lupita Nyong’o and Kivutha Kibwana. Thanks to his alcoholic beverages Bill, better known as the Mututho Laws, he was single-handedly responsible for cutting down road accidents in the country.
His high standing in the eyes of Kenyans is part of the reason why we all gasped collectively when his estranged wife Janesala Mututho accused gospel singer Grace Wairimu of using juju to win her husband.
Janesala claimed she had known Wairimu, but that she was unaware of the affair until recently. In audio recordings, Mututho can he heard trading sweet nothings with Wairimu, who refers to ‘Mhesh’ as her husband and threatens to deal with anyone who tries to mess with him.
Mututho is also heard talking with a former employee, who claims to have been pregnant with his child, and who is quickly dismissed by Wairimu. It seems there is much more to Mututho than meets the eye.
Jowie wowed Jackie
It had all the elements of a Hollywood thriller: Looks, money, a politically wired TV celebrity and gory murder.
Jowie Irungu - a man of no known abode or income, but rakishly handsome - found himself behind bars, alongside TV anchor Jackie Maribe, the woman who loved, housed, fed and entertained him in high-end city pubs.
The story captivated Kenyans and made headline news for weeks. Adding spice to the works was the presence of State House official Dennis Itumbi who went to court hugging Maribe, like an old lover...